I have really been feeling disconnected from myself lately. The kids have been so needy lately (not that I am complaining….but I am complaining) that I feel like I haven’t thought about myself for a while. I have never wanted (or been happy) to be one of those moms who devotes herself 24/7 to her kids needs. I have felt that when they grew up if I acted that way I would have nothing to do and pine for them or try to live my life through them. That is why I have always wanted to work…so I had an identity outside of mom. Lately even work time has been taken up with them. I know this will not last forever but I am feeling like the me inside me is getting kicked around a bit. I have let my exercise time go (mostly because my neck still hurts) and I need that time to feel like a person. Todd has been so busy at work lately I feel like I have not seen him in months and I am not sure I am capable of having a conversation with another adult without sounding idiotic! I do know that this is not how I will feel forever…tired and neglected (by myself) but sometimes when you are in the middle of those feelings they are all consuming.

A bit about my husband. Todd and I meet at RPI (wow) 13 years ago and just celebrated our 10th weeding anniversary. We have been parents and have run a business together for the last 7 years. I can easily say that Todd is my best friend and I would never be able to make it through this crazy life without him. Even though life may not always bring the best out in us we try to keep each other going and relish in the fact that we still like each other most days. That being said I’m sure I will post during my moments of sheer frustration with everyone around me…so to Todd I say I’m sorry, I love you, and *smooch*