Last weekend in the hopes of getting more info for Shannen’s school so that they will accelerate her we took her to Sylvan to get an evaluation (more on that later). When we were done with everything they gave us a website that is FREE to use called www.bookadventure.org. At the site you can pick books by READING LEVEL!! I have been trying for the last year to find a list that works like that. You can also find the books by author, subject, title etc. When you are done with the book you can take a quiz to earn “points”. After a while you can trade in your points for free stuff. We are having a hard time getting Shannen to read anything other than the Harry Potter series (for the 1 millionth time) and she can only get the points for each book once…so she is forced to read other books 

I was really hoping this would work well for Morgan too…and I am sure it will eventually. Unfortunately the series she has been reading were not on the website. She was a little bummed that she couldn’t get that many points for books she had already read. One huge benefit was that she FINALLY got to see in writing that the books she reads are about grade level and that she is a good reader (she wont listen to me say that and continues to compare herself with her twin).

So just wanted to pass the info on and hopefully we will have two happy readers for the whole summer!!

My youngest Tristan is now 2 1/2 years old and even though I know he is not ready to head out to college he just is feeling so old these days. He is defiantly the youngest of 4 kids and tries to keep up with all the big kids. He is watching his brother and sisters closely and tries to run and jump as high as they do. He tries to sit and listen to stories as still as they do (even though this is maddeningly hard for him) and he dreams of going off to camp and school with them (very hard to say sorry you are too young). I have a ton of friends right now who are expecting babies and I am very comfortable with our decision to have 4 kids but I do miss hold a new baby….I am very ok handing the baby back though

I know that our family is moving on to a new chapter in our lives and Tristan is a huge symbol of that. Our kids will soon all be in school and I will be working more (which I love). Very soon all my kids will be able to get into the car and buckle their seats without my help….and soon no one will need me to check their bums (I can only dream right now). Because of all these things I think that sometimes I have expectations for Tristan’s behavior that are not realistic…I do have to remember he is 2 1/2 and not 4 like his brother (even though they often act a lot alike).

Even though all these things are wonderful and I am looking forward to my kids getting older, having real discussions with them, watching them play sports (with some actual skill), and taking cooler family trips I have been a mom of young kids for 8 years. I know how to do this and looking into the world of tweens and tantrums (ok I have seen a few of these) scares me. It scares me because I have to let go more of my kids and trust…not them more…but the world around them more. It scares me because they have voices that have power and weight behind them and I have to remember to listen more. It scares me because we will no longer be that young family anymore and I am getting older. It scares me because I am growing apart from my friends that are not making that transition. It scares me. But it is also exciting…

Ok so we are at week 2 of the girls being out of school and the end of week one for Collin and they are driving me nuts! They have managed to fight over every possible thing under the sun…she has the swing more than me…I want to lick my ice cream cone first…he was breathing in my direction! Breath…I know they are getting used to the routine but you would think they would enjoy summer instead of torturing their siblings…maybe that is why when I was little we were told to go outside and come back when it was dark! I really need to pick up the beach pass so they can run around there because our yard is not cutting it.

Collin had his last day of pre-school today (he will move to a new one next year). He brought home a ton of great pictures and a wonderful scrap book. I can not believe he has made it through his first year of school! We all celebrated with sorbet ice-cream cones (with sprinkles)…so now it is really summer everyone is out of school. I can’t wait for the end of recitals and such so we can just veg at the beach.

As some of you know Todd and I have been going through a rough time with Shannen lately when it comes to school. We have been trying to convince her school that she needs to skip a grade (at least one) and they have been…less than open to the suggestion (even though they don’t doubt she can do the work). Well we had a meeting yesterday to make a decision (at least that was what Todd and I thought was happening) with us, Shannen’s tutor, Shannen’s therapist, the head of the lower school, and the headmaster. Well lets just say we did not come to a decision. The headmaster (who has not been to any other meetings) thinks we need to really take our time…I have been working on this for over a year and his people have not been addressing thing well.

She has never been educated correctly, she is loosing interest in school, and she is only entering 3rd grade! Their big suggestion was for her to stay in 3rd grade and do the John Hopkins program (great program). So I went to sign her up and looked through the coarse work and she had already completed 1/2 of the 4th grade program for math and had read the books in the 5th grade program…but no 3rd grade is the right place for her…and this is a very accelerated program!!! I am just so frustrated. The only good thing is that the headmaster has agreed to call the specialist to see if we can speed up Shannen’s evaluation (the list is very long and we have been on for almost 6 months). I’m just not sure what the best thing to do is now that they seem to be digging in their heels. I know 3rd grade is not the place for her and I feel like we are getting set-up for them announcing that they are not able to educate her. I just wasn’t expecting such a hard time from a school with such a big price tag.

The really annoying part is that with my other children (who have learning issues) they praise me for my insight into my children and follow my lead on how to best service them. Shannen is a twin and this is making life miserable for her sister as well…her sister is very bright and tested in the gifted range but calls herself stupid because she can’t read Shakespeare like Shannen.

It seems like the school just wishes Shannen would go away….it makes me really sad to see a kid as bright (and vulnerable) as she is get treated so poorly. I don’t think they are meaning to but they are turning her away from learning in school….and that is just sad.

Ok so I have never been great at the diary thing…why did I think a blog would be better. I am going to try this time to write at least every other day (good goals). So just got back from a great trip to Vegas with 9 other ladies and had a great time. I loved getting a break from the kids and life in general and I have come back much better for it. Weird side effect though…I started to feel really guilty for leaving my hubby in charge of the kids (not that he minded at all)…maybe I was listening to too many people talk in my ear but I started to feel like I was selfish for needing the time away. I know in my head that I am better for it but sometimes I get worried that I am the more selfish one in the marriage…

Wow I am so happy to have 2 minutes to myself. I have been a true ball of stress for the past several months and I have been trying to find a way to decompress. It seems like nothing does the trick. I was finally so stressed out and overbooked that I hurt myself (why does it seem to take that?). After several days of recovery everyone else seemed to get sick…so that was it I needed to get myself better. On top of everything else we had a vacation to Florida to visit family planned. It seemed to be the worst timing ever and I was frankly not in the mood to be traveling. You know the packing, the whinny kids, and the end of the routine. Well it seems like an end to my normal routine is just what I needed. I have relaxed, been able to sleep (that has not been going so well), and Todd and I remember each other and have had several whole minutes strung together to say….have a conversation. It feels like the butterflies that have been living beneath my skin for the past year and a half have up and left. Sure the kids have had their moments and I almost had one of my 3 am panic attacks about the business (stopped it in mid-panic) but all and all I have been good. Maybe it is the sound of the water (I am so getting a wave CD) or the cool breeze at night….but maybe it is just shutting off my brain, giving myself a break, and not worrying that my world could cave in at any minute that has given me this new found peace. I will bottle up some of this feeling to take home. I will not step off the plane and along with the cold weather bring back the weight of the world, the worry of everyone I know, and the insecurities that have been plaguing me. I will remember to breath, press my shoulders down away from my ears, and retain a sense of peace that things have a way of working out. I enjoy this feeling…I crave this feeling….of happiness

I am so proud of Morgan these days. She is just blossoming. She struggles so much last year at school. After we had her learning disabilities diagnosed and worked on boosting her self estimate when it can to reading she made great leaps and bounds this summer in reading. We are getting her sensory and fine motor skills evaluated and she will hopefully start her OT soon. She LOVES her teacher this year…it is such a great match. Her reading is on track and even though she works at her spelling she is succeeding (actually she is getting a lot of 100%). She is finally seeing herself as a smart girl. She has lots of friends and is feeling comfortable with her place in the family, with her friends, and as a student. The only thing missing in her little life is an animal. Morgan is one of those kids who animals just naturally follow and obey. She is such a calm, in control, happy little soul…she has so much to teach me. Her allergies have been really bad lately but it still looks like we can get a small hypo-allergenic dog next summer…she will be so happy.

I have been having such a rough time trying to balance my involvement in Shannen’s life. My Shannen is such an interesting person. I always have said that if we were both 20 years old together we would be such great friends….but that can make for a hard time being her parent. Shannen is currently having a rough time with life. She is very bright and is starting to mistrust that the adults in her life are always right. I would be some-what prepared for this if she was 16 or even 13 but she is 7. If she is feeling like this now I am concerned for what the future holds.

I have a hard time seeing my kids in trouble and it makes me want to do something NOW so that they wont have one more second of discomfort. I know that some discomfort is good and will make her a stronger person but trying to find the line between letting her find her own way, her own footing and seeing her will broken is really and truly hard. Things are always interesting with my girls because they are twins and they have such a tight connection. Morgan can always tell when her sister is off and when I need to step in more. Morgan will handle me focusing in on her sister for a while but even I can see she will need some energy soon. I wish I knew how to do this right…how to make sure I give them all they need so that they can be happy and successful.

I have been trying to give the girls some good energy after Collin and Tristan go to bed but it is not always easy. I get tired and need down time too…I guess I have been leaning on their school a little too much and have to realign my time.

A bit about my husband. Todd and I meet at RPI (wow) 13 years ago and just celebrated our 10th weeding anniversary. We have been parents and have run a business together for the last 7 years. I can easily say that Todd is my best friend and I would never be able to make it through this crazy life without him. Even though life may not always bring the best out in us we try to keep each other going and relish in the fact that we still like each other most days. That being said I’m sure I will post during my moments of sheer frustration with everyone around me…so to Todd I say I’m sorry, I love you, and *smooch*